I've been in this fire course for a few weeks now. The key things coloring how I'm understanding my fire and my placements right now: anger has fear underneath it, fear has care underneath it, and, for me specifically, the work has been learning to stop hiding my fire because my core is soft.

That's the lens I brought to this canvas. The name of this piece is Evolving.

A woman asked me to describe myself as a weather report the day after our last class. I'd gotten some upsetting news and was riding the wave, but it was unearthing things that felt fiery, emotional, and uncomfortable. I said: sunny with a chance of thunderstorms. Because my sun is in Cancer, a water sign, and the rest of my chart is mostly fire and air. That's what this piece is holding.

The red background is the fire, the Leo that runs through most of my chart. At the center is the sun, bright and clear, because even though it lives in water, it is still my core, still the north star everything else organizes around. Around it is water in motion, raindrops and clouds, because that's what Cancer does. My moon is in Gemini, my rising in Libra, so whatever water I have gets blown about by air. And there is lightning cutting through all of it, because I don't think it's possible to have Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter all in Leo and not be a striking presence. That's something I've been hiding, because my core is sensitive and wants protection. But the lightning is still there.

There is no earth in my chart, and yet people describe being in a relationship with me as grounding. What finishing this piece showed me is that water reveals gravity through its state. Steam means heat and motion. Rain means there's an earth somewhere. Still water means whatever is below it must be ground. My fire and air help me to understand what state my water is in, and I alchemize them all, all the time.

And I get to decide how much I want to be defined by what I give out, or by who I am internally, and the balance between the two.

So. I am Dr. Chanel Beebe.

I am an artist, student, teacher, creator, and caretaker, with engineering degrees and twenty years of educational research experience. I am a poet, writer, philosopher, and lover of all things informative. I am two-spirited, sapiosexual, and a child of God, nature, and this universe.

I am a Detroiter, a daughter, and a fourth-generation entrepreneur. My sun is in Cancer, and my core is love and sensitivity. My rising is in Libra, and my purpose is expansion, healing, and harmony. My moon is in Gemini, and I feel and sense things vividly. Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter, all in Leo, all in my tenth house of career and achievement. So you will see me. And you will have an opinion. I invite you to find something I do that interests you.

I just finished my fourth semester at the University of Michigan's College of Architecture, where I teach research methods in urban technology, and radical urban planning. I run the Cultural Design Marathon, a ten-year-old community design sprint methodology. I curate art shows, host marketplaces, festivals, and well-being workshops. I work with social media, career, and entrepreneurial clients to bring their ideas to life and care for them.

But most honestly, I want to know and be witnessed as my full self, as often as possible.

If there were a weather report, I'd be sunny with a chance of thunderstorms.

And though I cannot guarantee I'll be able or interested in everything and every person the universe brings my way, I am excited to meet who comes, and honored to continue to love on who and what has remained with me through the journey it's taken me to find, speak for, and be everything I'm becoming.

Related Poetry

Related Artwork

Related Publications

Related Books I’m Reading:

• https://drgabormate.com/book/when-the-body-says-no/

• https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2759537-the-pilgrimage

Current Affirmations

God is showing me how good this timeline gets.

My honorable and loving ancestors are always with me.

What is for me never misses me.

My whimsicality and devotion brings me the resources and support I want and need.

I am fully present in and with my body, and we love each other.

I am light, clear, healthy, wealthy, pain-free and flexible.

The relationships in my life are loving reflections of how blessed we are.

It is safe for me to soften, relax, and receive love.

My romantic life and soul partner is being revealed to me. They see, love, and care for every inch of me with ease.

They prioritize me highly, and our lives have space for each other.

They communicate with me and love on me every chance they get, which is often, from a deep place of compassion and authenticity.

They agree with and support causes and politics that matter to me on their own.

They are fully attracted to me, present with me, and fully invested in being with only me.

They are clear, ready, and emotionally available to me.

They build worlds for me, and are obsessed with showing up for me well. I stay on their minds.

Our love is rich, sweet, dynamic, sacred, fun, divine, nourished, and protected.

My time, trust, truth, energy, and vision are safe, protected, and nourished.

I am adored without asking, chosen without chasing, and kept without condition.

I receive devotion like it's normal, because for me, it is.

Ease is my frequency and being spoiled is my resting state.

There's big love and big money in every area of my life. My cup runneth over.

I am seen, held, and whole in the eyes and arms of God. And I am so grateful.